Write
Sentences That Say What You Mean
Use this page when you are revising, and a sentence feels unclear, vague, or too long.
What a clear sentence does
A clear sentence lets the reader understand it the first time. In college writing, clear is better than complicated. Instructors do not give more points for long words or long sentences. They give points for ideas the reader can follow.
This page gives five ways to make a sentence clearer. Use them when you revise, not while you write your first draft.
- Specific:
- exact. Three weeks is more specific than a while.
- Vague:
- not exact or not clear. Things and stuff are vague words.
- Wordy:
- using more words than the idea needs.
- Pronoun:
- a short word that stands for a noun, such as it, this, or they.
Five ways to make a sentence clearer
| Way | Unclear | Clearer |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Use specific words | The class had a lot of good things. | The class had short videos and weekly quizzes. |
| 2. Say who does the action | Mistakes were made in the report. | Our team made two mistakes in the report. |
| 3. Cut extra words | Due to the fact that I was sick, I was not able to attend. | Because I was sick, I could not attend. |
| 4. Put one main idea in each sentence | I like nursing and my clinical is on Fridays and the hospital is far. | I like nursing. My clinical is on Fridays, at a hospital far from home. |
| 5. Make this and it clear | Tuition went up, and the bus schedule changed. This made it hard to attend. | Tuition went up, and the bus schedule changed. These changes made it hard to attend. |
Common wordy phrases
| Instead of | Write |
|---|---|
| due to the fact that | because |
| in order to | to |
| at this point in time | now |
| in my personal opinion, I think | I think |
| is able to | can |
Example: one sentence, revised
A student revised one sentence from a draft. Each number matches a note below.
First draft: In my personal opinion, I think that the thing that is the biggest problem for students is that there are not enough parking spaces and it causes them to be late.
Revision: The biggest problem for students1 is parking.2 The main lot fills by 8:30 a.m.,3 so students who arrive later often miss the start of class.4
- Extra words cut. In my personal opinion, I think that the thing that is became nothing. The reader knows it is the writer’s opinion.
- The main idea, early. The reader learns the point in a short first sentence.
- A specific detail. By 8:30 a.m. is more convincing than not enough spaces.
- It replaced. The first draft said it causes them. Now the sentence names who is affected and how.
Language focus: this + a noun
Point back clearly
Writers often begin a sentence with This or It to point back to the sentence before. When the sentence before has more than one idea, the reader cannot tell which one you mean. Add a noun after this to name it.
| Unclear | Clear |
|---|---|
| This shows that students need support. | This survey shows that students need support. |
| This is a serious problem. | This delay is a serious problem. |
| It made the results less reliable. | The small sample made the results less reliable. |
Use this with a singular noun and these with a plural noun: this change, these changes.
Sentence starters
Use these to begin clear sentences. Fill in each blank with your own words.
- To state a main ideaThe main problem is .The most important reason is .
- To point backThis shows that .These mean that .
- To be specificFor example, .In , happened.
Practice
Make each sentence clearer. Use the way named in brackets.
- The reading had a lot of interesting stuff. [specific words]
- The essay was not finished on time. [say who]
- In order to pass the class, it is important to attend. [cut extra words]
- The clinic closed and the bus stopped. This hurt the town. [this + a noun]
Show suggested answers
- One possible answer: The reading had three surprising facts about sleep. Replace a lot of interesting stuff with exactly what the reading had.
- One possible answer: I did not finish the essay on time. The new sentence names the person.
- One possible answer: To pass the class, attend every week. In order to becomes to, and it is important to becomes a direct statement.
- One possible answer: These two losses hurt the town. There are two ideas before this, so these + a plural noun names both.
Next step
Revise three sentences in your draft
- Find a sentence with thing, stuff, or a lot. Make it specific.
- Find a sentence that begins with This or It. Is it clear what it points to?
- Find your longest sentence. Can it be two sentences?